“When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath [your exasperation, your fury, your indignation] last until the sun goes down” (Ephesians 4:26).

Sometimes we know we are angry, and at other times we are unwilling to recognize and own the anger in our hearts. We may have developed a fear of anger during childhood because we observed some family member acting out anger inappropriately, and we do not want to behave like them. Or we could have the false belief that the emotion of anger is totally bad, so we deceive ourselves into denying that we are angry. Anger is a normal human emotion. Yet the Bible teaches us that, when we get angry, the anger must be appropriately dealt with for us to stay physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy. Ongoing anger is detrimental to our whole being and can cause us to feel depressed and hopeless.
In the beginning of my healing journey, it was not easy for me to recognize or feel my anger. For the first time in my adult Christian life, I was depressed. This was unusual for me, as I am usually a positive, upbeat soul. I lay on the sofa week after week, wanting to quit everything! Again and again, the Lord would attempt to speak to my heart-and I would just pull away. Even though I was too depressed to respond to His love, He kept coming back, calling to my heart.
Then one morning the Lord’s Spirit said, “Deborah, you are mad at me about seemingly not answering your prayers about one of the children?” Now that got my attention! I argued back, “No, I’m not!”
To my surprise, He was not upset with my response at all. His desire was to bring me out of depression and hopelessness. He told me my depression was the result of unprocessed anger. Jesus had died for this anger, but I still carried it in my heart. He told me I must feel the anger to let it go and then put it on Him to be free. This frightened me. I did not want to feel mad at God, but I was desperate for help. I knew I had to choose to walk past my fears and to be real with Him and myself.
I went to the bathroom and locked the door, hoping no one could hear my anger pouring out. At first I timidly told God why I was mad. I was not feeling it until His Holy Spirit ask, “Is that as mad as you can get?” Needless to say, that did the job, and I poured out my angry heart on Him, telling Him why I was so mad, stomping my feet, and feeling the angry emotions.
After this experience with God, my depression began to lift, and I came out of the dark place and back to the place of light. This was the beginning of learning how to own and feel my anger and put it on the Savior. Many years have passed since this encounter with God, which taught me this new way of praying and continuously keeps me from getting caught in the consequences of holding on to anger.